


Truth

by DeanmonandAngel



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Angst, Boys Kissing, Kissing, M/M, Oneshot, Swearing, Truth Spells, no real fluff sorry, ugh i hate tagging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-08-22 01:17:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8267419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeanmonandAngel/pseuds/DeanmonandAngel
Summary: Simon gets fed up with Baz trying to get between him and Agatha and uses a truth spell on him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> My first Oneshot (that I've posted). I got this idea when I was re-reading Carry On (again) and that part where Simon accidentally puts the truth spell on Agatha for a second and I thought, what if that happened with Baz?

**Simon**  
Agatha broke up with me, I think that it’s because of Baz. I don’t think I can face him, I don't think the anathema would stop me right now. I’m in my (our) room and I feel like I'm going to go off, but I won't (at least until Baz gets here).   
What did she even mean ‘We don’t fit.’ Of course we fit, she’s my future, my destiny, the only thing I can look forward to if I survive this war. A comfortable, normal life. Something that isn’t filled with certain death and antagonistic vampires.   
Now what? There’s no one else willing to put up with my magic and magnetic attraction to everything deadly and dangerous (except Penny of course, but she’s not an option). I’ll be alone. I still won’t belong, even being the most powerful Mage of all time…I'll never really belong.  
 **Baz**  
I feel tired (exhausted really), tired of pretending to hate Snow, tired of bloody Wellbelove trying to be wiggle her way into my life, tired of _Snow_ hating _me_.   
I just want to sleep, to be in my dreams where Simon Snow and I live in a little house on the countryside with little blue eyed, blonde haired demons running around.  
But of course, of course, Snow is waiting for me when I get back to the room to blame me for whatever petty problem him and Wellbelove are having. As if we aren't on the verge of an actual, literal war. As if the very thought of Wellbelove and me together doesn't make me sick.  
As if the very sight of him doesn't tear me apart.  
 **Simon**  
I’m waiting when he gets back, because if he had anything to do with Agatha breaking up with me, he went too far. Finally, he went too far.  
He walks in the door and I spring up from my place on the bed, “Are you and Agatha together?” I walk over to him, so close we’re practically nose to nose. “Is that why she broke up with me?”  
Baz steps back, his hand running through his hair, his eyes are tired. So tired, I wonder why, he finally has what he wants. “Why don't you ask her? She's the one that ended it, not me,” his lip curls into a sneer (it’s only half-hearted) and his head shakes roughly, as if shaking the very thought of me out of his head.  
“No Baz, tell me,” I growl, practically spitting in his face.  
“No!” He snarls, pushing his face back close to mine. “I don't give a fuck about Wellbelove or your stupid relationship problems that we all know you'll sort out in a few weeks and be on your way to your Golden Destiny! Fuck, Snow, just leave me alone.”  
That can't be true, Agatha wouldn't break up with me for no reason, it has to be Baz. I can fight Baz, I can keep him away from Agatha, he is a relationship problem I can solve. “ **Stop lying to me!** ” I scream, it comes out dripping with magic, but that’s not what I meant to happen and I should stop it but how can I now when I’m so close to the truth?  
 **Baz**  
I feel the words clawing up my throat and I can see Snow looking guilty but he’s not doing anything and I want to open my mouth to scream at him, to make him reverse the spell but I know if I open my mouth I won't be able to stop the onslaught of words from pouring out of my mouth and finally telling him everything I never wanted him to know.  
But I can’t resist the spell long and within seconds it’s a stream of words I can’t possibly control: “I don't want to be with bloody Wellbelove! I want to be with you because I’m in love with you and I’ve been in love with you for so long and it's tearing me apart and I don't think I’m going to survive this because how am I supposed to kill you when I can barely stand the thought of you hurt!” Tears are streaming down my face and I don't bother to wipe them and I want to stop talking but I can't, “How am I suppose-“  
“ **Stop! Stop!** ” Simon yells and I can feel the magic drop away and his face is full of expression but I can’t read it (anger? pity? disgust?). ”I’m-I never-I’m sorry!” He doesn't say anything else, he just leaves. I sit on my bed, my face still wet. I hate him, because he made me do that and because he hates me, and because I love him so _damn_ much.  
 **Simon**  
I hate myself, for what I did to Baz. I shouldn't have let him talk, I should have stopped it before it started. I wish I hadn't done it, because how can he do anything but hate me now, and that hurts. It shouldn't hurt, he’s my enemy, he's the villain. But how can he be my enemy when he’s in love with me?   
I can't get his face out of my mind, it was a face of pure heartbreak and it hurts (so, so, much). It was a look I never expected, or wanted, to see on his face.   
I go to the catacombs, maybe he'll come here to hunt and see me. I can't decide if I want that or not.  
I fall asleep there, my mind churning, running that concept through my mind. _Baz loves me, Baz loves me, Baz loves me, Baz loves me, Baz loves…_  
 **Baz**  
I don't sleep, and Simon doesn't come back.  
He probably hates me more than ever. He probably went straight to the Mage and told him I was plotting against him, he probably…  
Simon comes in then, looking especially disheveled.   
“Baz?” He asks, his voice small.  
I avoid his eyes-the ones so blue they look like they were pulled straight from the sky-because not for the first time in my life (and surely not the last), I don't have the energy to deal with Simon Snow. To deal with his rejection, and disgust, and every other disdainful look he reserves just for me. “Look Simon, we don't have to talk about this ever again. We can keep avoiding each other and hating each other and pretending this never happened. Just please-“ my voice breaks and I hate myself, in that moment, because Simon _bloody_ Snow has so much control over me. “-please don't say anything.”  
“But I want, no, I need to talk about this-“ he starts, but I can't hear this. I get up to leave.  
He steps in front of me, I expect him to to look angry or disgusted, but he doesn't and I can't quite figure out the expression on his face. That is, until he kisses me.  
 **Simon**  
I kiss him, because I've never really been good with words, and because I don't want to ignore this. Because after Baz told me he loved me, it was like a puzzle piece finally, finally falling into place. I love Baz, I love the way he moves and talks and regards the world like he has nothing to fear. I love the way he looks when he’s sleeping, his sharp face soft for once in his life.   
And kissing him, his soft lips colliding with my own, his scent and his taste enveloping me completely. His cold lips somehow making me feel warm. I run my hand through his hair, it's soft and silky and I can feel him shiver and _god_ it drives me crazy.  
I pull back, every bone in my body screaming no, and say “I love you too.”  
Finally everything makes sense.   
  
  
  



End file.
